Welp. Last night was a good bad night, if that even makes any sense. Surely, if you do jiu-jitsu you can understand what I mean.
On the surface it was a bad night. A really bad, frustrating, mad at myself kind of night. I had so many submissions set up throughout the night, more than I probably ever have in one night, and I couldn’t finish a single one. Scissor choke. Armbar from mount. Armbar from guard. Triangle. Kimura. Straight ankle lock. Americana…a few of those I had set up multiple times. Nada on the tappy taps, though.
By the end of the night I was frustrated and I really let it get to me. I let my old friend You’renevergoingtobeabletodothis come back into my life. She’s a real bitch. I could see the road I was headed down, ThisIsImpossible Lane, and I came down pretty hard on myself. That lasted for about 20 minutes and then I realized that I don’t have to go down that road if I don’t want to. I can view this in a better way. I can take the bad for what it is and use it to help me focus on the good.
Now I have this in my head:
“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life…”
If you can name the TV show that this theme song is from you will win…absolutely nothing. But, bonus points if you actually sang it in your head as you read it. I did. And, if you can’t name the TV show you obviously are too young and really missed out. Honestly, I have no idea if you missed out. The only thing I really remember about the show was always finding it funny that someone was named Tootie, because anything that I could reference to farts put me in hysterics. Never really grew out of that…
Ah. The facts of life. We take the good, we take the bad, and the fact of life is that we can ultimately choose how we react to the good and bad.
It wasn’t long ago that I wasn’t even in a position to set up submissions. I was very rarely on the attack and lived in the constant state of survival mode. That’s not at all the case anymore. I get to attack often now. That’s a huge amount of progress and when I think of it in those terms, I’m really proud of myself and how far I’ve come. It really does make me happy with where I’m at.
See. Good bad. It’s really a thing.
I remember back when I couldn’t even get to these positions so I could start working on submissions. Then I progressed to actually getting to these positions but not being able to maintain long enough to attack. From there it progressed to maintaining the position and starting to attack. Today the progress has lead me to getting position, maintaining, and getting the submissions set up and locked down. (*Keep in mind, this is on white belts. I’m still very much in survival mode with higher ranks. I don’t want it to sound like I’m saying I can do this with everyone I roll with.)
That chain of progress is something I can be happy with. I can see that throughout all of these frustrations and challenges I am moving forward. I am progressing. It took the bad for me to reflect on the good.
Good bad. It works.
Now I just to need to focus on the details of each technique and try to figure out where I’m going wrong, why I’m not getting the tap. Last night showed me what I need to work on and nothing excites me more than new goals to work towards.
I’ll get there.
I’ll take the good, I’ll take the bad, and the fact of life is that I’ll be better because of it.