Be Un-rape-able.

I woke up this morning feeling like 15-ish people kicked my ass last night.

Oh, wait…

That actually happened.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of crazed lunatic I have to be to have decided at 36-years-old that I would love to get my ass kicked three days a week and wake up the next day feeling like I got ran over by a truck. Or, in the case of this morning, fifteen-ish trucks.

“Why couldn’t you just crochet or craft or some shit like that, ” my body might ask.

Because somewhere along the way I decided that personal growth is the shit and became addicted to bettering myself. So far, jiu-jitsu has been the leading deliverer of that growth and that makes all the pain and soreness worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of moments where I think to myself, “WTF are you doing to yourself!?” But, then I have moments where I am lying flat on my back and sweep a guy that weighs at least 50 lbs. more than me and I remember just how bad ass and empowering jiu-jitsu is.

Worth it.

Or, I remember where I was mentally a year ago and how much stronger, braver, and tougher I am.

Worth it, again.

It takes worth it to a whole new level when I think back to those beginning days when I couldn’t do anything. It was very frightening and unsettling to realize that if a man attacked me I couldn’t do anything. I remember not really caring so much about the self-defense aspect of jiu-jitsu until it was brutally shown to me that I couldn’t defend myself on the ground against anyone. Anyone. That honestly scared me. I just don’t think you realize how much it takes to defend yourself until you’ve tried to get up off the ground when someone is trying to keep you there.

Today, I think one of the best things a woman can do for herself is to learn how to defend herself. And I don’t mean a bullshit self-defense class at a McDojo where they teach you ridiculous techniques that would never work when met with resistance. Not once at the McDojo we went to did we ever work on any kind of defense once on the ground. Not once. They acted like the ground didn’t exist and the only defense you needed was stand up.


Not from the actual McDojo we attended, but a pretty accurate representation of it.

I can’t remember the statistic, but I know that the majority of fights and attacks end up on the ground. If you aren’t learning some sort of defense from there, you could be wasting your time. Ladies especially, do yourself a favor and learn something legit, something that is realistic and usable. I don’t think there could possibly be a better self-defense then learning jiu-jitsu.


A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were wrestling around on our bed…

I promise this is PG.


Since we both do jiu-jitsu anytime we get close to each other it turns into a grappling match. On this particular day, I was on my back and my husband was trying to…I swear, no matter how I say this it sounds dirty…get in my guard to lay on top of me. I started using my legs to stop him. He would get one side of his body in, I would slightly switch my hips, loop my leg back over his arms, and get my foot in position to stop him from moving forward. After 30 seconds or so of this he says, “You are like un-rape-able now!”

It’s true jiu-jitsu has put a bit of damper on my husband’s cuddle attempts, but it has more importantly helped to ease both his mind and my mind with the skills I have learned to defend myself.


Un-rape-able is a pretty bold word to use. I definitely don’t want to walk around overly confident and thinking that I could defend myself against anyone, anytime. That’s just asking for trouble. There are so many factors that come into play and you just can’t predict how those things will play out. A person trying to rape you is probably going to go to extremes to make that happen so I don’t know if you can ever be fully prepared for that kind of thing.


You can learn some jiu-jitsu and do your damnedest to make sure that you are going to make it as hard as possible for someone to take advantage of you in that way. If I had daughters, they would be doing jiu-jitsu for sure.


I like looking back and seeing just how hard it was to simply survive in those early days. How I could do very little to save myself from the danger of someone bigger and stronger. That is all starting to change now. Little by little.


Taking a man, a man that is bigger and stronger than you, who is coming at you aggressively while you are flat on your back, and sweeping him onto his back and ending up on top of him, that’s some pretty badass, un-rape-able stuff, ladies. Who cares about a little pain and soreness when the end result is something like that!?

Worth. It.

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