Some days I sit here ready to write and I struggle to find the right topic. Then other days I’m torn between a few. Like today. Do I share how I was ripped from my BJJ mom/wife/employee break, my “me” time where I don’t have to worry about what is for dinner or how much work I need to do or who hit who first, all by an epic meltdown from my kids?


Or, do I write about how I overcame my fears and rolled with more people than I ever have and that I even asked a few myself? What about how I feel like I’m getting tougher and better about handling uncomfortable situations? I could even share about how I didn’t chicken out of a birthday gauntlet.

So many topics…

I’ll spare you the details of the kids meltdown. It mostly consists of me being jerked away from my BJJ fantasy land where I think I’m a badass in training and returned to my reality of wife, mom, and creative genius. (It’s okay. I’m not being arrogant. That really is my job title. I mean, technically I made it up, but that’s the beauty of working for your family and yourself. You get those kind of privileges. I could title myself as Queen Allison, Baddest MoFo of the Land if I wanted to. I just might.)

I think the topic I’ll go with today is something I’ve witnessed and really noticed the last few weeks: the brotherhood of BJJ and SFC.


Not exactly relevant, but funny. A lot of times, for me, funny trumps everything else.

Although, at first using the word brotherhood felt a little discriminatory since there are women in there too. I thought maybe we could mesh something together like Bro-ter-hood? Sis-ther-hood? (That last one just sounds really lispy.)

Eh. Neither really sounds good.

I guess I can accept that I belong to a brotherhood even though I am minus a penis. When you put the word brotherhood into a thesaurus words like comradeship, fellowship, kinship, camaraderie, friendship, alliance, union, community come up. I’m cool with that. Brotherhood, in my opinion doesn’t have to just include men. It’s not about the word, it’s about what it represents.

Last week I couldn’t help but to smile and feel those warm and fuzzies while watching the kids play together before class. Their latest game is playing color tag. A few that are “it” stand in the middle of the mat and yell out a color. If a kid has that color on their clothes they have to run from one side of the mat to the other without getting tagged. I looked up from my phone and saw kids from ages 6 to 15 all playing and laughing together. No arguing, no bad attitude about getting tagged, no overpowering the little ones, only fun and laughter. I think one of the coolest things was that if a problem did arise, say a kid thought they didn’t get tagged but some else said they did, they were able to problem solve themselves without ever needing an adult and without anyone getting upset. That’s pretty incredible for kids in that age range. It made me realize that my kids belong to something really amazing at SFC. They belong to a brotherhood, a team.


We’ve done martial arts at another place and it’s not even comparable. The brotherhood, the team at SFC is a whole other world. A whole other feeling. These kids are bonded in a way that an outsider would never understand. I take great comfort in knowing that my kids have another family that has their back too. We are very thankful that our kids are getting this experience.


They even display teamwork outside of the gym. It’s really fun to watch these kids together. I’m so happy that my kids belong to this group of kids.

I say it a lot, but if you want your kids to belong to something amazing, bring them to SFC. You will not regret it. If you do, you’re an idiot. Sorry. Sometimes the truth is blunt and doesn’t give a poo about your feelings.

Experiencing this brotherhood myself, has really helped me come out of my shell a lot. When you know you are surrounded by family, it makes it a lot easier to push yourself out of your comfort zone.


In writing this blog I have had a lot of people from SFC come up to me and tell me that they can relate to a lot of what I write about. At first I was shocked, but I’ve learned that I’m not really writing about anything new or experiencing anything that is really that exclusive to just me.

We all share common ground in BJJ.

It is hard. It is challenging. We all have setbacks, some unique, some not. We all have struggles. We have all felt like we suck. We all have experienced defeat (many times over). We have all at times felt like it was impossible.

I learned last night that even though we all progress at different paces, unique to our own shortcomings and strengths and gender and age, the ones that stick with it, we aren’t really that different at the core.

We are the people that are challenging ourselves no matter our shortcomings.

We are the people that push ourselves outside of our comfort zone.

We are the people that are working towards bettering ourselves inside and out.

We are the people that refuse to give up.

We are the people that know that struggles can be overcome if you keep trying.

We are the people that know that in defeat we can learn a valuable lesson if we look in the right direction.

We are the people that know that it IS possible with hard work and dedication.

We are the people that can beat each other up and build a stronger friendship because of it.

We are the people that want to see our peers succeed.

We are all on common ground.

We are a brotherhood.


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