One day. One. More. Day.
The excitement keeps building with each day.
Three weeks ago I was a nervous wreck. There were times that I worried I wasn’t going to be able to handle the stress and pressure I was putting on myself. I was just a mess! I imagined when I got to the day before the comp I would be curled up in the fetal position screaming to myself, “Why, Allison!? Why!?!”
I don’t feel like that at all today. I have so many positive things to think about that I’m not really nervous. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not doubting myself.
Yesterday, someone pointed out a great way to stop doubts from entering your brain. Simply taking confidence in the work you have put in. Did the other girls in my division train six days a week? Did they put in 2-3 hours a day? Did they grind and drill the fundamentals? Did they roll at every opportunity? Did they study the details at home? Did they drill at home with a pillow covered in a gi? Did they eat clean? Did they have a team of badass people to get them ready?
They better have, because I did.
Does this mean I’m better? No. But, I put in the work and I did my best to ensure that I was walking in there as the best that I can possibly be. I might lose, but my goal is that if I do lose, it will be the hardest win my opponent will have to earn.
I’m still just absolutely floored at how many have helped me over the last few weeks. Every time I turn around I’ve got someone giving me words of encouragement, showing me a great technique, helping me with details, coaching me through rolls, pushing me to work harder, giving me pep talks, even guys giving up a whole class just to let me get in the drilling. (Bonus points to that guy since we worked knee on belly and side control pressure!)
Going through something like this really shows you who has your back and wants you to succeed. The support from the guys at SFC has been amazing! I don’t even know how to begin to thank you all for that.
It might sound cheesy, but I feel like I’ve discovered so much about life and myself and BJJ while preparing for this tournament.
I’m a different person from that first class I walked into months ago. Hell, I’m a different person than I was three weeks ago.
I just don’t see how I can lose tomorrow. I mean, sure I could physically lose, but I just don’t see a formula in my head that equals failure. I know I’ve said it a lot, but I really, really mean it. I honestly feel like no matter what happens, I’ve already won.