#winning

One day. One. More. Day.

The excitement keeps building with each day.

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Three weeks ago I was a nervous wreck. There were times that I worried I wasn’t going to be able to handle the stress and pressure I was putting on myself. I was just a mess! I imagined when I got to the day before the comp I would be curled up in the fetal position screaming to myself, “Why, Allison!? Why!?!”

I don’t feel like that at all today. I have so many positive things to think about that I’m not really nervous. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not doubting myself.

Yesterday, someone pointed out a great way to stop doubts from entering your brain. Simply taking confidence in the work you have put in. Did the other girls in my division train six days a week? Did they put in 2-3 hours a day? Did they grind and drill the fundamentals? Did they roll at every opportunity? Did they study the details at home? Did they drill at home with a pillow covered in a gi? Did they eat clean? Did they have a team of badass people to get them ready?

They better have, because I did.

Does this mean I’m better? No. But, I put in the work and I did my best to ensure that I was walking in there as the best that I can possibly be. I might lose, but my goal is that if I do lose, it will be the hardest win my opponent will have to earn.

I’m still just absolutely floored at how many have helped me over the last few weeks. Every time I turn around I’ve got someone giving me words of encouragement, showing me a great technique, helping me with details, coaching me through rolls, pushing me to work harder, giving me pep talks, even guys giving up a whole class just to let me get in the drilling. (Bonus points to that guy since we worked knee on belly and side control pressure!)

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Going through something like this really shows you who has your back and wants you to succeed. The support from the guys at SFC has been amazing! I don’t even know how to begin to thank you all for that.

It might sound cheesy, but I feel like I’ve discovered so much about life and myself and BJJ while preparing for this tournament.

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I’m a different person from that first class I walked into months ago. Hell, I’m a different person than I was three weeks ago.

I just don’t see how I can lose tomorrow. I mean, sure I could physically lose, but I just don’t see a formula in my head that equals failure. I know I’ve said it a lot, but I really, really mean it. I honestly feel like no matter what happens, I’ve already won.

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I’m ready!

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