Up, down, up, down, down, up, up, up, down…
I’m quickly learning that my path in BJJ is going to be a hell of a roller coaster ride. Up one day and down the next. I didn’t, even for a second, think that is was going to be easy or a straight shot to success. I just don’t think I realized just how up and down it can be and how quickly it can go from up to down. One day a move finally clicks just right and I feel on top of the world and two minutes later I get smashed, nothing I do works, and then hello frustration.
Last night I got in my head really bad. We started off the class with shrimping, side shrimping, etc. and I got really embarrassed. I don’t really know how to shrimp. I’ve done it once before in my very first class. I do use it in rolling quite often but I guess I don’t really know the official shrimping technique. So, last night instead of feeling shrimp-like, I just felt really stupid and more whale-like. I really got in my head about it.
My usual go-to way to handle situations where I get embarrassed like that would be to escape. My comfort would have been finding an excuse to get out of there. I was close to it. I really was.
One of the biggest things that drives me though are my kids. I feel like I can’t ever let them see me quit because I’m embarrassed, struggling, or frustrated. I want them to see me struggle and go back every class. I feel like one of our biggest jobs as parents is to show them that if you work hard and never give up, great things will happen. If my kids could only learn one thing from me, I want it to be that.
Live with a relentless pursuit of better. No matter what.
So, with that in mind, I powered through as best as I could and told myself that every single person in that room, at one point was a white belt. Every single person in that room had to do shrimping for the first time when they started and I’m sure that nobody did it perfectly the first time.
Shrimpin’ ain’t easy.
The rest of the class I loved and while I started the class at a down point it ended at a high. The best part was on the drive home. I was talking about being frustrated with shrimping and my oldest son, Drew, said, “I can show you how to shrimp when we get home.” And, that is how our family spent the rest of our evening, shrimping on the living room floor.